A Conversation
by dilero
Summary: S3 Finale possibility.  Dependent upon S3/E02 'spoiler' outcome.  Property of ABC Studios Productions.  I own nothing.


**A CONVERSATION**

Time can be so fleeting. Another year has gone by in which they shared their professional lives on a daily basis and experienced intermittent glimpses into their personal lives. There had been moments of joy and laughter, as well as heartbreak, pain and grief. Last year at this time was filled with miss-communication, the failure to communicate at all, and the sorrow that this behavior brought to bear. Had they gotten better since then, to a degree. Although their relationship seemed to always teeter precariously on the precipice of 'what it isn't' and 'what it could be', at least they had demonstrated that neither one was interested in taking any actions that would ultimately preclude the continuation of their journey.

The preparations for the premiere of the _Heat Wave_ movie had warranted the presence of its author/screenwriter and the person that was the inspiration of the book's/movie's lead character at the film's Los Angeles production studio. Rick had not been sure whether Kate would be amenable to participating in this kind of promotional work, but was overjoyed when she finally decided that she would accompany him to California. Just the mere fact of traveling with her was enough to make him feel special. One of those little things you have to grab onto when you so desperately are seeking more.

Two days had been spent on the planning for the Hollywood premiere and the subsequent premiere in New York City. From Kate's perspective, since these were merely technical meetings held at the studio, media attention was not an ever present source of concern. She realized that she would eventually have to face that onslaught during the actual premieres, but for now she was able to relax in the atmosphere of mere logistical planning. The two did have to face the incessant presence of the paparazzi when they attended a couple of dinner meetings at fashionable Hollywood eateries, but Kate was thankful for the advice that Martha had given her about 'running the gauntlet' from the car to the restaurant or theater door (focus on the door, while wearing a Mona Lisa smile; and hold onto Richard, you know he will always be there for you).

After a day filled with planning and another studio sponsored dinner, Rick exited his room at the newly renovated Hotel Bel Air, and moved toward Kate's room on the same floor. He was headed down to the Bar to relax for awhile before calling it a night and was going to ask Kate if she would like to join him. Knocking on her door, he finally determined she was not in her room, or had already gone to bed. Turning to catch the arriving elevator, he proceeded toward the Bar.

The beauty of the Spanish style architecture made the Bar both elegant and comfortable at the same time. Rick decided to sit in one of the high backed semicircular booths as opposed to taking a place at the elongated bar counter. A waitress quickly took his drink order, and virtually as quickly returned with his bourbon on the rocks. Glancing around the room, he saw a few familiar faces, but for the most part the place was not overly crowded and quite peaceful. As he looked toward the entrance to the Bar he realized the atmosphere was about to change.

She strode purposefully through the room stopping at several tables to exchange pleasantries with fellow show business friends before sliding into the booth beside him.

"Meredith."

"Hi, Kitten, you look fabulous", she responded.

"What are you doing here?", Rick inquired.

"I heard that you were in town for the _Heat Wave_ planning, so I called the studio to find out where you were staying. Its been almost two years since I've seen you, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity for another 'top ten' session with you. God, you look good."

Stumbling to find the appropriate words, Rick finally replied, "Meredith, it's very nice to see you, and I will be happy to catch up on what you've been doing, and how Alexis is doing, but that's all it can be. I'm not now, nor have I been for some time in the mindset or in a position for me to be physically involved with you. I hope that you can appreciate what I'm saying to you. This is totally me, not you."

Leaning back into the booth, Meredith sighed, "Well, well, well, Ricky. You finally told her, huh?"

"Told who, what?"

"Oh, please. If you're going to be honest with me about why we aren't going to run up to your room, don't play dumb about the reason why. You're in love with your detective friend, and if there is one thing I know about you, when you're committed to someone you honor that commitment. It's a shame I didn't treat you in a similar manner. So, are you living together, or married, or what? Is she here with you?"

"Meredith, it's not that simple. Yes, Kate is here, but I can't in good faith say that she is here with me. We are here at the request of the studio."

"Richard, you are skirting these issues a little too closely. Have you told this woman that you love her?"

"Well, no."

"Why not?"

"It's difficult. I love her, Meredith. I have loved her for over two years, but I don't know that she wants me to tell her that. If I tell her and she doesn't want to hear it, I may very well lose her. I don't think that I can deal with that."

"Rick, I can't believe how sobering this conversation is for me, but I guess it's provided me with the opportunity to cleanse my soul and provide you with some advice at the same time. You loved me, we created a child, you married me and I gutted you. For fifteen years I have carried around the fact that I never told you that I'm sorry for what I did to you, to Alexis and to us. It is certainly way too late now, but none the less I'm sorry Richard for what I did and what I did to you. Someday, I hope that you and Alexis can forgive me."

Meredith continues, "Well, that was awful to have to face. Now to you. I have carried that for fifteen years, and it's an excruciating burden. You are an absolute idiot if you carry around the love for someone in your heart and fail to express it to them. The beauty of the love that you have will soon begin to destroy you, just like my failure to apologize to you was destroying me inside. You can't use me, or Gina for that matter as a benchmark for who should be involved with, or who you can express your love to. Your detective must be head and shoulders above us, or you wouldn't have been around this long trying to figure out a way to make things risk free. Believe me, nothing is risk free, Kitten."

"I should be going. Please give my love to Alexis. Don't be afraid, Rick. It's not becoming."

"Thank you for your words, Meredith. They truly meant a lot to me. I'll tell Alexis that we got to have a very nice conversation, and make sure that she calls you soon. Take care of yourself."

As Meredith slid back out of the booth, Rick sat in almost stunned silence. Earlier when he saw her enter the Bar and head toward him, he envisioned the possibility of a frightful scene beginning to take shape. The outcome could not have been more different.

"_So?"_

The word seemed to materialize out of thin air. It had to be in his mind though because the voice was oh so familiar. Rick scanned the room, but couldn't see her anywhere. He finally looked over the top of the high backed booth.

"So?", she questioned him without glancing over her shoulder to look him in the eye.

"Kate, how long have you been sitting there?"

"I was here when you came in. I'll ask again, So?"

"I don't understand what you're wanting me to answer?"

"You can tell someone else that you love me. So, can you tell me?"

"Kate,...Kate, I have loved you since our very first case together, and I will always love you."

She opened up her clutch purse, threw money on the table to pay for her drink and began sliding out of the booth.

"Kate, please don't leave. I'm sorry that I said it."

"Are you telling me that you're sorry that you love me?"

"No, I will never be sorry for loving you. I'll only be sorry that I said it, if it means that you are going to leave."

"I'm not leaving you, Rick. As beautiful as this place is, I'm not about to have the most important conversation of our lives in a bar."

Extending her hand toward him, she quietly uttered, "Can we go for a walk."

A/N:

This could ultimately be a moot point depending upon the 'spoilers' for S3/E02.


End file.
